Cartomante (Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £1.99
Where To Get It: Steam

When I went into this game, a divination game similar to… Well, Divination, in which you choose from a limited set of interpretations (of Tarot Cards, as Cartomante would imply) to “deal” with three people’s problems… I wasn’t expecting to try and solve a gay love triangle of man, their boyfriend, and their pupper (In the werewolf sense, who is also the boyfriend’s ex.)

Whoops. This guy is so fascinating he dominated my screenshots…

Okay, okay, that’s a big spoiler, but, as with any short game, it’s kind of hard to avoid them, and… Well, there’s several ways that could go. Several cards. Thirty potential endings.

And it helps that it has an aesthetic. Bright, colourful, with an off kilter soundtrack, it feels wonderful and weird, and the three clients are quite the set of characters. A voiceless (?), masked figure with a heavy load. A tattooed man with a ghostly dog on his shoulder. And a bourgeois plantgirl who is utterly blind to the fact her nephew is having orgies in the flower shop she entrusted to him.

God, she really is a bitch, and I’m looking forward to finding the ending to her story where she gets hers. But I did get her to legalise sex work in one ending, so there’s that!

Damn straight, tell it like it is!

Anyway, yes, the writing is as colourful and oddly off kilter as the game’s visuals. Sometimes, you get hints of a very dark supernatural world. Other times, it’s a supernatural world where people just casually talk to the Nameless like it ain’t no thing, and others, it’s an ordinary world with ordinary (and sometimes dumb) problems.

In any case, if you want something weird, with a fair bit of replayability while being short in terms of individual sessions, and like short VNs, well, Cartomante is £2, its sessions are short, it shows when you’ve picked an interpretation , and one feature I’d really appreciate is tracking what you’ve got and where, but…Well, as mentioned, it’s £2, it’s fun, it’s got good writing, and what the hey, bring a notebook.

The Mad Welshman seeks advice from the cards on what to if he’s secretly 300 bwci bois in a sweater…

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Monster MonPiece (Going Back)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £7.19 (Full bundle £11.34, soundtrack/artbook/wallpapers £6.99)
Where To Get It: Steam

I love me monstergirls. I love me women protags, because, even today, they’re a relative rarity. And I have recently developed a weakness for Gacha style gameplay, where the character drops are random, and upgrading them is the order of the day.

You’d think my back’s against the wall here. And it is.

So, nominally, Monster MonPiece ticked all the boxes. But it does have some problems. Even if it’s not the ones you might be thinking of from the screenshot above. Although it is related. You see, weird sexualised minigames (along with other awkwardness about small lookin’ monsterfolk in bikinis), I am somewhat used to, having survived reviewing Senran Kagura (eeeeeeeesssh.) I’m not gonna say it isn’t weird, or a turnoff, because both can easily apply. But that speaks for itself. No, what isn’t seen here is that, despite this levelup with “touching/rubbing games” (ew) being a core mechanic, what’s gained is often unclear, while what’s lost is very clear.

Wait, my big ol’ buff warrior type lost attack? What did it get back? Where can I find what the hell it got back? Why would I want my main gal Fia to suddenly become an unmoving character, rather than raising hell? (Okay, that one, at least, makes a vague sort of sense… But others suddenly gain that property, while becoming, for want of a better word, crap.)

Gets a buff… Can’t move.

Anyway, yes… Basic idea. So, some monstergirls have been tamed, becoming friends with humanity, while others are still Lost in their urges (and so have some humans.) Cue our protag, who, at first, is a bit of a wet blanket, but her resolve hardens when her friend is made Lost by the villainess, and cue a shounen-like battle to collect the big magic things wot might be used to end the world but were previously benign. And, gameplay wise, it’s a mix of a card game and a tower attack/defense, with three lanes of monsterfolk being placed in your area, moving forward with each turn, whacking each other with sticks/bows, using special abilities… It’s pretty tactical, actually… And, the aforementioned gacha. After each fight, or when you pay the in-game currency, you get card packs, or individual cards, from a region based deck. Level ’em up via… Sigh… The rubbing minigame, plonk ’em down, rinse, repeat.

And it’s that rinse/repeat that’s palled on me. It takes a fair few battles to get to the next part of the story, and… They’re a bit nondescript. Little things change, new monstergirls slowly get introduced, but… The story isn’t enough, and isn’t common enough, to make this not feel like a bit of a grind.

Yes, I rubbed a nerd ghost. Don’t judge me.

Accessibility wise, the rubbing minigames are the worst aspect of things. Tap repeatedly. Waggle the mouse repeatedly… It’s hell on even my hardened wrists and fingers, and I can’t think how bad it would be for people who can’t use the mouse like that. And, aesthetically, it’s… Actually alright. The weirdness aside, the art is good, the music is alright…

But that doesn’t save it from feeling kind of eh. So, this isn’t really a recommendation or “Nah”, it’s just… Eh, I guess if the screenshots appeal, if the idea appeals, and if what you see on LP vids or the like appeals, then… Yeah? But it’s certainly a flawed title, regardless.

The Mad Welshman would like to catch all the monstergirls, but twitter keeps stealing his stash. Which is hella rude.

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Sokodice (Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £4.79
Where To Get It: Steam

Dice puzzles are an interesting one. And yet… Minimalist just doesn’t feel right for it. But that’s what Sokodice went for: Simple, ambient, clean… A little sterile. And it doesn’t help that it feels like the keyboard controls change every now and again in terms of directions.

Insert ambient music.

Anyway, yes, Sokodice. The general idea is to push one or more dice to a specific point, with a specific number on it, face by face. If the number you need is on top, congratulations, you pass! If not, well, you’ll get it eventually. Or you’ll restart it over and over again until you hit par. Depends how much you want that, or just to screw around with it. So, for example, if you have a 6 at the “front” of your move, and a two on top, one direction would end with a 3, another with 1, another with 4, and one, obviously, would end in 6. So the opposing top would take two moves in any direction.

I suck at these things, by the way. But it’s not the difficulty (It’s a puzzle involving space, your mileage will vary) that I find somewhat dull. After all, it adds little wrinkles, things to watch out for, as a good puzzle game does.

It’s a little difficult to differentiate the ice from the snow, so it’s something to watch colourblindness wise. Still, nicer than clean, sterile white.

It’s the presentation. And the control weirdness. In essence, it’s better to play with the mouse then the keyboard, because it gets rid of “Which axis am I moving on again?” There is an undo, but save yourself the frustration if you get it.

No, it’s simply that this minimalism feels more workmanlike than an aesthetic decision. It feels lacking in character. Maybe I’m spoiled on that front, but still… Even when it gets into more colourful designs and tunes, it feels, as I’ve noted, sterile. Lacking feeling.

In any case, Sokodice is less than £5, so if puzzle enthusiasts want to give it a go, then it’s not a big investment, although I would say that dice puzzles are not a beginner puzzle set, so people getting into puzzle games may find only frustration. Personally… It just didn’t grab me.

The Mad Welshman is always sad when something doesn’t grab him, because the devs put in hard work to make their cool stuff. But… Can’t be helped.

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Disgaea 5 Complete (Going Back)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £29.99 (Arbook £3.99)
Where To Get It: Steam

Ever since I heard Disgaea 4+ Complete was coming to the PC, I’d gotten curious about the series. So I gave 1 a go… 2 a go… And, recently, 5. And it’s not hard to see how the series has evolved.

Seraphina’s… A little oblivious. And narcissistic.

So, a refresher, even though we’ve reviewed another Disgaea game this month: Disgaea is an SRPG fantasy series, in which Demon Lords (with one exception in the series) face some sort of tribulation, having to rise through the ranks of their kind by beating the shit out of others, in small battles comprising chapters in the story. And Disgaea 5 is perhaps the darkest one, as the antagonist is a Demon Lord who enslaves and conquers other netherworlds, Void Dark. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have silly moments, it certainly has those, and in spades… But it also has, for example, a demon world where it’s revealed someone in a royal family was held hostage, the people were sent off to fight as disposable soldiers, and then… The royal family was slain and resurrected as zombies.

I can’t wait to murderise the demon lord responsible for that, to be quite honest.

Just run. Just run until you’re at least in New Game Plus.

In any case, as mentioned, the evolution is interesting. Fusions? Gone, replaced by a “Mon-Toss”, aka “Monster can throw you, even if they can’t lift you.” When you hire, it doesn’t cost Mana, but HL, and characters… Can be levelled up to the highest named character level. Mana, meanwhile, goes on Skills, the Senate, and later, the Chara World, which… Well, that one’s not great in retrospect, but it is a fun little game, even if you probably want to focus on skills in your first loop. And then there are quests, which allow you to get neat stuff, from skill scrolls, to new character types (at the time of writing, I’m working toward Sage. And got her before I finished this paragraph.) There are other changes, but those are the biggies.

Aesthetically, it keeps the cel shaded/hi-def spritework of its predecessor, with a great soundtrack (the one you’ll hear the most is the bittersweet base theme, vocals and all), and some solid voice and sound work. Accessibility wise, it’s okay… Turn based stuff generally is, and it certainly tries to have map design that doesn’t obscure shit needlessly, but, sad to say, this remains a problem with the series.

There is no such word as “Overkill” in Disgaea. It’s always “Not Enough Kill”

But, except for the changes, Disgaea 5 remains what the rest of the series is: A solid strategy RPG, where I’ve never felt pressured into worrying about whether my units fall or not (except in terms of “Damn, I need them to do damage”), where I don’t feel bad about the grind (even the grinding of the Item World gives you sweet stuff, especially on or around your level), and where the stories are this interesting mix of silly and dark that I quite enjoy. Although the mileage varies on individual Disgaea games, I do recommend them as a whole for dipping your toes into SRPGs, and for the devoted SRPG fan who wants really big numbers (over time, anyway.)

The Mad Welshman is not normally a fan of pretty numbers. But even he has to admit, SRPG Big Numbers are a good feeling.

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Cloud Gardens (Early Access Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £5.19
Where To Get It: Steam

Sooner or later, everything falls to ruin. Everything returns to nature. And Cloud Gardens, as much an experience as a puzzle game, is all about that. All about making it happen. And, in its sandbox mode, all about making something that will look all the more… Bleakly beautiful, once it’s been overgrown, nature triumphing over the works of man.

The steel may be rusted, but the plants, the plants are always verdant, the colours of life steel cannot match.

Yes, that’s a very poetic way of putting things. It’s that kind of game, even though there’s not a single word spoken. Like how a cactus in a corner, with bricks around it, and the fact that candles were my items for the majority of it… Led to a sort of shrine. It’s meditative. It’s quiet. And the only sounds are the ambient music, the light thuds as you place items near your plants (in order to make them grow), the rustle of growth, and the gentle, echoing drips as you replenish water from harvesting seeds, to make new plants.

This game isn’t perfect. It tutorialises well, but some of its areas are tricky as hell (especially the overpass signs early on), and it’s sometimes hard to see elements, leading to confusion as to why you aren’t either losing because you haven’t overgrown the world enough, or being given more stuff.

Who knows why those chairs are there. Maybe they sat, to witness the end. Maybe they were forgotten, the remains of a picnic. Their story may never be known.

But overall… Cloud Gardens is an interesting puzzle experience, with a good aesthetic to it, and simple, yet gripping play. Although the theme might make some folks depressed.

The party’s over, it’s time to call it a day…

The Mad Welshman isn’t sure whether to call this calming, or depressing. Probably both.

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