Super Robot Wars 30 (Going Back)

Source: Birthday prezzie
Price: £39.99 base game, shedloads of DLC ranging from £3.99 to £24.99, season pass, blah blah BLARGH.
Where to Get It: Steam

Important note: This was reviewing the base game, no DLC. Still boodles of content. PSA over.

Ahhhh, I’ve been waiting for this day. Y’see, Super Robot Wars is a series that doesn’t come to the West as easily as you’d think, mainly because, well…

Your protag mech for this game, the Huckebein XXX. See what they did there? Ohohohoho… 😛

It’s a series with a lot of giant robots from a lot of franchises (Although, y’know, you’ve always got a high chance of getting some Gundam in there, along with “Voiced by the VA of Ray Amuro”), and so, it’s a copyright nightmare, usually requiring region locking fuckery to play.

But 30? 30’s available in my region. And so, I get to gush about the series via its installment.

Don’t worry, we’ll be getting the flaws out of the way first: Namely, oh, it’s my old friend, red on background that mostly hides red, hi! Choosing where to move is, as a consequence… Kiiind of a pain in the ass on a fair few maps. It’s also a game that completionists will love or hate, but probably tend toward the latter, as the game takes a while to play, and about 4 playthroughs are required to unlock everything in the game.

But, for the rest of us, it’s a fun turn based Strategy RPG, in which you enjoy a weird, multiple franchise story about a world racked by war, with our Protagonist (male or female) getting involved in Yet Another Giant Robot War in a World Where Giant Robot Wars Are Common. Macross pilots are on first name bases with the Mazinger crew. But, conversely, folks like Neo-Zeon can get hold of Zonder Metal, and ally themselves with all sorts of bastards and beasties.

Never change, you glorious fucking nerd. <3

It’s essentially either a gateway drug for Giant Robot Nerds to be, or a haven for the ones already caught like myself. Which makes it highly amusing to note that one of the franchises represented in 30 is… Knight’s and Magic, where the protagonist is, drumroll!… A Giant Robot Nerd.

God fucking bless you, Ernie.

Otherwise, there’s a lot to unpack here. Musically, it varies from alright to pretty dang good, as the vast majority of the soundtrack is various Giant Robot theme tunes, the visuals are solid, and the Live2D animations for the attacks are fun, although you’ll turn them off for each unit after a while, being a “see, enjoy, oh wait, if I let this play every time, I’ll be here for four times as long.” The story, similarly, is pulling its weight, making each robot franchise added to the mix… Mostly understandable in context?

Trust me, considering how varied some of these series are, it can definitely be considered “pulling its weight.” It’ll still be a case of Weird Dimensional Shenanigans a lot of the time, but it’s fun, the characters are fun, and their interactions make for this light fanfiction experience.

…Why not, you kind of are?

Which is basically what it is, isn’t it? Fun, SRPG fanfic of giant robots beating the shit out of other giant robots. Apart from the issue mentioned, it’s pretty accessible, as many turn based games often are, and even the whiniest of “Content per Buck” assholes can’t complain about the amount of gameplay and content. It is a heavy time investment, since missions can take anything up to 2 hours for the later, more fraught missions (mostly taking about 15-30 minutes per mission), but, for those who like turn based strategy with stat raising and buffs and skills and things (It does explain and tutorialise pretty well), and for those who like their big ol’ robutts, this is a very solid purchase indeed.

“But Mr. Welshman, you didn’t show us any of the other giant robots!”

You’re right. I didn’t. UGH, FINE…

There, Combattler. That’s about as Super (and Super Ridiculous) as you can get.

Become a Patron!

Night Cascades (NSFW Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £7.19
Where To Get It: Steam

Content Warnings: Child abuse (beatings, book burnings), mentions of homophobia, racism, police brutality and Satanic Panic, and a little bit of misogyny. Some softcore nudity, descriptions of lesbian sex.

(more…)

Become a Patron!

Hermitage: Strange Case Files (Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £15.49
Where To Get It: Steam

Content Warning: The game contains mentions of abuse, bullying, self harm, drugs, and suicide. Although TMW has not managed to fully check the CWs, they assume there are more, but these alone are biggies for a fair few folks.

Well… That’s been one hell of a ride.

Yeah, sometimes all you can really say as an opener is something so simple, because Hermitage: Strange Case Files is an emotional rollercoaster, and, naturally for a horror adventure game with obvious Lovecraft influences, it’s a deeply unsettling experience at times.

Ah, a many angled doggy. Sadly, a bit too eldritch and hostile to be pettable. Sorry, you cannot pet the dog in this game.

Slight, yet important tangent here, because I know something’s going to be said: Yes, Lovecraft was a racist fuck to the point where even his peers went “Whoooooah there, buddy!” Yes, a lot of his work has racism, and indeed, much of the subtext and theming is racist as fuck too. But if you are to judge a later work riffing on the created mythos, not on its own merits, but just as a sentence that starts with “This person liked Lovecraft’s work, ergo, they are -”, you’re doing a disservice to the creator in question.

Okay, that said, let’s go into it. Hermitage: Strange Case Files is a supernatural mystery visual novel, mostly from the perspective of a bookshop owner whose landlord is… Mysterious, and knows more than they’re letting on, his lawyer cum investigator friend, and the various people who are caught up in horrors that said trio help solve. The first chapter is available as a free demo, and oh boy, it’s a doozy. A private school. Bullying. Strange dreams that prove to be real. I would definitely say, if you have a trauma trigger about school bullying, that the descriptions are uncomfortably on point. In each chapter, there are only a few puzzles, the majority of which are to do with sliding clues onto questions to answer them (three per question), with three chances on each, and a bad ending awaiting if, well, you fuck any of them up.

This guy… This cryptic god-damn guy…

So, let’s get the bad out the way: Scarlet text on a dark transparent box, with sometimes dark backgrounds? HAVE. COLOURBLINDNESS. OPTIONS. Some of the questions, perhaps due to the translation from Chinese to English, are worded in such a way that you likely won’t get it the first time, and sometimes, when you click to fast forward text before clicking again to skip the line… Well, it just skips the line before it’s done. Okay. That’s the bad out the way.

The writing is good. It will frustrate some folks to know that it has the feel of a sequel at the beginning, but most things get revealed by the end, don’t worry. It’s descriptive, it’s emotive (oh boy is it emotive), and the characters, even the ones who are introduced for only one chapter, are fleshed out as well as they can be for their screentime. It draws you in, and I honestly didn’t realise the first chapter took almost 2 hours, because, well, there were only five puzzles (technically four), and the writing drew me in.

Please do not do this. No, really, I can’t fucking read this at all.

Aesthetically, apart from the aforementioned accessibility issue, it’s styling… The character designs are sharp, an ink and airbrush style you often see in manhua, with the occasional more painted look, the menus of the game fit the mood and theme of a mystery game well, the locations are nice, and the soundtrack and ambient sound… Mmmm, chef’s kiss, it’s good stuff.

So yes, if you like horror, if the content warnings don’t turn you off, and if you like a nice visual novel to keep you up at night, then Hermitage is a definite recommendation from me.

Have. Colourblindness. Options. This is not a request.

Become a Patron!

Ultimate ADOM (Review)

Source: Review Copy
Price: £17.49
Where To Get It: Steam
Previous Review: Early Access

Ah, ADOM. I’m going to say this now, if you don’t like hard, old school roguelikes, stay away, because ADOM is very, very traditional. In the “If you don’t know the systems, you’re unlikely to get past Level 3, and random start is Challenge Mode” sense.

MONSTER CLOSET, WOOOOOOOO!!!!

Also if you find a clunky UX which occasionally does things like have text that’s obviously code (such as, in at least one of these screenshots, “DRINK_SYMBOL”) offputting. Because that’s a thing too.

Anyway, yes, despite this, it’s not a bad roguelike. It is, after all, one of the earlier ones that’s gone through a lot of rejigging, although this version doesn’t have the massive world traditional ADOM does. Gender options are alright (including, as I mentioned in my Early Access review, Tentacled… Gotta love Tentacled and Non-Binary as options… Although, as with older RPGs, each gender comes with stat mods… Not my favourite), class and race options are pretty plentiful, and there’s certainly a fair few systems to interact with, like summoning, grafting, corruption and mutation… There’s not all that many roguelikes where I can say “I, a Gray Elf Necromancer, decided I wanted a third arm that belonged to a goblin. I never did find a third dagger for it before I died, but I could have, and that would have rocked. Damn you, dark elf immune to life draining magic, which was my main healing…”

Bree-Yark is… God-damn, I think that’s one of the oldest tabletop/roguelike memes in existence… Glad to see it here.

And aesthetically, it’s alright. No major issues besides skinny text for accessibility, the chibis and monsters look alright… Honestly, my main problem is that it’s clunky. Progression has gotten faster, so levelling isn’t a big problem, but going through a mini-menu when you want to do certain things gets annoying quickly, even with a turn based game where taking your time and thinking is the preferable path.

In the end, Ultimate ADOM may well please traditional roguelike fans who don’t mind a little jank, but folks looking to get into roguelikes should definitely look elsewhere. I honestly wish I could say more, but… There’s not a lot else to say that I haven’t said before.

The Mad Welshman is one of the deities in this game. Well, he’s like one of the deities in this game. Certainly as stylish.

Become a Patron!

Deep Sea Valentine (Review)

Source: Review Copy
Price: £3.99 (£3.99 artbook)
Where To Get It: Steam

On the one hand, I love my Good Queer Shit, this is well known. I like gijinkas (human anthropomorphisations of various stuff), and I like games that use engines that aren’t really built for the game. But…

When you’re not talking to people, you’re walking through a smallish world. Considering this is using a visual novel engine, I’m slightly impressed.

…This game tries way too hard. And the result is a little painful.

Okay, maybe more than a little, this thing… I think I heard ten memes in the space of five minutes, and my brain (and teeth) ache a little.

So… Anyway, the game. It’s a visual novel made in Ren’py, simple choices, a choice of sea life gals to smooch on Valentine’s Day, short, to the point… And it has top down walking in it. Top down walking that scrolls somewhat jankily, and… Feels superfluous, honestly. There are set situations you’re faced with, things only opening up (a little) when you get to a certain point, so… Why not go with a more traditional structure, choosing where to go, etcetera?

Cheese. Health Advisory: Do not use this line.

Honestly, that’s mostly dissatisfaction with the jank of the top-down, majority segment of the game. Aesthetically, it be pixels, with hand drawn character art for the conversations, so I’m not complaining about the aesthetics.

The writing, on the other hand… Ohhh boy. See, I was down with “It’s time to pick up women. [pause] Respectfully.” But then, shortly after?… Stans, Stands, Darude’s Sandstorm, lots of cheesy lines… It grated. It grated a whole lot, and the humour seemed forced. I didn’t really feel any attraction to anyone (much less the protag), and…

I… Really wasn’t joking about the Darude Sandstorm thing. SIGH.

As such, I… Really can’t recommend this, unless you’re a masochist, or are as internet poisoned as the two jackass boys who seem to be the nominal antagonists of the story. I like my Good Queer Shit, but this… This ain’t it.

The Mad Welshman would like to be, under the sea, in a cute dolphingirl’s parlour, in a cave… Alas…

Become a Patron!