Pacer (Review)

Source: Early Access Purchase
Price: £34.99
Where To Get It: Steam
Other Reviews: Early Access 1, Early Access 2, Formula Fusion Release

I can’t lie, I’m still a bit confused as to what’s happened with Pacer, formerly Formula Fusion. It was finished (I tend not to write “Review” if it’s still Early Access), then it wasn’t, now it’s finished, but under a new name… It’s been a bit of a weird ride. But, since it is apparently finished now, well, it’s time for a review, isn’t it?

Ah, the middle rear of the pack. My lease favourite place to be. Still, 1st is pretty lonely…

And yes, the feel has changed. The vehicles… Well, actually, it can be tough to tell the difference without looking hard, mechanically speaking, and you aren’t going to be working out whose team someone’s on midrace, even if the craft themselves do have their own character. So… Eh? But a fair bit has changed. Some of it I like, some of it I don’t, and the Gauss Cannon (Actually a machine gun that heavily glitches your screen on hit and does damage like billy-oh if it hits) can go to hell.

As noted, the feel of actual racing has changed, becoming more, as I suppose the fans wanted, Wipeout-ish… Honestly, I was happy with FF having its own flavour, but fans are… Yeah, let’s move on. Airbraking is harder than I expected, slowing you down somewhat drastically, but also turning you more sharply (good), and, while the weapon system hasn’t significantly changed (pick up weapon pickups, so you can use either of your chosen weaponry), the boosting system has a slow buildup on top of the usual method of hitting turbo pads to add boost. So that’s nice. There’s a fair variety of weapons, not all of which are weapons (alas, the shield analogue, the Tank, can only shield one hit.)

In a static image, you can just about see the mines (except the one literally next to me.) When moving? Yeah, it’s hard.

And there’s a few interesting game modes, even if Storm is somewhat poorly explained (Stay inside the bubble, the center of which is a sort of handlebar icon), and Thread The Needle runs into a problem I noted last time I looked at the game: Mines are an utter bastard to see, and, being light blue, they’re even more of an issue to see on the first track they’re introduced in, a Russian tundra track. Colourblindness checking, people, or colourblindness options, they’re fucking useful! Boost pads can also, at times, be a git to spot, again, the problem mostly being on ice tracks and the occasional blue glowy track.

Still, aesthetically, the game’s a treat. Pretty craft, somewhat customisable, gorgeous tracks, a slicker and more compact UX (my only bitch there is we can’t see the splash for the races before we click on it, if that’s changed, it saves us a click to see that and just go right into the event menu.) And, speaking of gorgeous and slicker, oh look, the music is a whole panoply of great artists (including, of course, CoLD SToRAGE, whose music has been iconic throughout the future racing genre.) And, best of all, this game, while in UE4 (normally a resource hoggy engine) is well optimised, so loading times are minimal, and I can get stuck in.

Unsurprising to anybody who knows my history with Future Racing, I go with the Russian team every time.

And finally, tracks… Alas, airtime has completely been removed from the game, so it’s sticking to the track like glue. Shame, that sometimes led to hilarity, and sometimes, it led to track skips. Oh well. There’s a fair few tracks, the unlocks doled out over the career mode, and they’re, uhh… Mostly technical tracks, some with blind corners and hills, although even the blind hills generally give you time afterwards to see what’s in front of you. Not always though, so, if technical is a turnoff, then yeah, you’re probably going to be turned off.

So, overall, yes, it is somewhat of an improvement on the previous iteration, but I’ll say what I said last time: If you can look past or cope with the flaws, this remains a solid future racing game, although not necessarily an introduction to the genre.

In conclusion: Haha, Gagarin Gauss Cannon go brbrbrbrbr…

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Rogue (Going Back)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £2.09
Where To Get It: Steam

So… Rogue. The original Rogue, or, more accurately, one of the Epyx releases of this, the progenitor of the roguelike genre. Oh boy, what a historical artefact this is.

I am a little miffed this isn’t the graphically pleasing version that was released on the Atari ST and Amiga, but… What can you do?

There are two secret rooms here. But me spending the time to search for them would mean my hunger meter runs low. Time to move on after murdering this Kestrel!

Anyway, yes, the original Rogue. If you’ve ever played a roguelike, you know the deal: A procedurally generated level is made, you move in a turn based fashion, so do the monsters, you hit things (or shoot things), you don’t know what a potion or scroll does until you use it (in a run, because it doesn’t stay the same between runs), once you die, that’s it, and the number of things that can kill you is pretty high.

Funnily enough, as one of the earliest examples… Rogue is dull as dishwater. Its generation is boring, its enemies are few until later levels (although enemies constantly spawn), its difficulty is very much random (sometimes, you’re just going to die of hunger because you haven’t found edibles in time), and, beyond the excitement of potions and scrolls, there’s… Really not a lot to keep track of, or use, or play with.

Make no mistake, this isn’t a death to be sneezed at. Slimes are bastards in Rogue.

Hit points. Strength. Weapon bonuses and types. What enemies do. Is there a secret room. That’s… Pretty much it.

So, it’s good as a historical curiosity, and an example of how far the genre has come, and branched out, and evolved… But… That’s about it, honestly. As mentioned, it’s not even the one with tiles as an option over ASCII, so… Recommended to people who love the history of roguelikes that somehow don’t have Rogue?

That’s… Kind of a small demographic, really.

It always starts with chainmail. That’s a gateway into adventuring, and next thing you know, they’re 20 levels deep and looking for a +8 sword.

Remember, just say no.

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What The Golf? (Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £15.49
Where To Get It: Steam

I dislike Golf. I don’t get it. I don’t like it. I don’t like many of the people who play it, because it is the sport of the bourgeoisie, and honestly? Fuck those guys. But I have realised I hate What The Golf, a game that is only tangenitally about golf, in that you have a power and direction to your swing, and environmental bullshit in the way… More.

It made me. Play. Flappy Golf. Unforgivable.

Not because it’s a bad game. It really, really isn’t. Not because I don’t like its sense of humour, its playfulness. Nope. It’s because it made me race that fucking sheep. It made me play Flappy Golf. At some point, it might make me play Golf Doom, and I will die a lot (unlike in Doom), and I’ll get irritable.

And so, the rant is over, and we get to what’s fun about this. In short, it’s a combination of the aforementioned humour and playfulness (the Not-Mario level, for example, has “What The Golf” being sung to the tune of our well beloved plumber’s 1-1 theme), a solid, low poly aesthetic with real charm to it, and surprising you at almost every turn with whatever zany thing you’re going to do with the basic mechanic of “Hold the mouse away from the direction you want to go, further away = stronger.”

One of the really fun touches are the silly “HOLE IN ONE” type messages on completion. I love these.

The aforementioned flappy golf is one of the annoying ones, but one that made me laugh was the one where the pointer was the thing that got thrown around. Or maybe that couch launching ragdoll one. Those are two good early examples.

Design wise, it’s pretty accessible. Clear colour differences, level objectives are pretty clear, the aesthetics are pretty good… My only major gripe is that the difficulty, especially with the crown levels, is highly variable, even early on, and that it’s not made clear that playing a level multiple times (three times, each a variation) can be done.

Ah yes, the institute of Golf Science. All sorts of strange golfing experiments, probably to work out why the hell golf is actually popular. Like, at all…

So yes, What the Golf? has its flaws, but is overall a good game, sometimes fast paced and twitch, sometimes calm, and often funny… But I still find myself grinding my teeth, even as I acknowledge it’s a good game.

The Mad Welshman well remembers a friend from his youth who got some use out of golf. He used to collect discarded golf balls, break ’em open, and sell the rubber bands. Good pocket money, really.

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Crown Trick (Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £15.99
Where To Get It: Steam

Hrm… Sometimes, it’s clear that you’re not having fun, be it a good or bad game. Sometimes, it’s clear that you’re having fun with a bad game. But with Crown Trick… Despite knowing it’s a well designed game… I’m not actually sure I’m having fun. And it feels awkward to say that.

Y’gotta respect a bird who wants to derring-a-doodle-doo.

The general story idea is a pretty cool one: There is a plague of nightmares upon the land, nightmares that draw people in, ne’er to return, and the last hope, the last of her world saving kind, is a child who appears to have no arms, aided by a large crown with a single, annoyed eye (generally speaking, not a sign that this assistance isn’t due to villainous ulterior motives, but that’s by the by.) And so a turn based, procedurally generated roguesortakindamaybelike begins, with shenanigans and buying stuff to improve future runs ahoy.

And make no mistake, it does interesting things with its formula, having a cool visual aesthetic, nice soundwork, and a cast of enemies and bosses that are interesting and challenging without being frustrating.

Except for Dr. Frank. Fuck that guy.

Like, you see those words, and you know he’s a bastard.

So, how does it change up the formula? Well, the level structure is more of an episode thing, with a unique final boss to each area, than a single sprawling “Beat this in one run.” It has familiars, which add special abilities to the list, interesting gimmicks in each area, and a variety of weapon types with their own quirks, such as the shotgun, which can either hit three enemies, one 2 tiles away, the other two on each side, or it can hit a single creature point blank 3 times in one shot. So yes, it’s a video game shotgun.

And, speaking of guns, the guns are… Honestly the weakest weapon type. It’s not that they don’t have powerful abilities, as the rifle can hit everything in a line within a 4 tile range, and the pistol’s final shot is a double-tap… But the clip is ridiculously small, so, unlike any other weapon type, it’s 2-4 shots, depending on the weapon, and then a turn wasted reloading. I’m sure some people like it, but it just feels less useful than, uhhh, every other weapon, including the axe, which, for best effect, needs multiple enemies right up in your face, ready to inflict pain.

Speaking of things that are of, at best, dubious use, the cursed statues and their “blessings.” Cursed chests, I’m fine with. They provide interesting little wrinkles that make you balance the risk and reward, like not being able to change weapons for three floors, bleeding until you kill an enemy, and an “everything dies in one hit, including you (except in boss fights), for 8 rooms.”

But when it came to the cursed statues and their “blessings”? The risk well outweighed the reward, every time. I had no incentive to fuck with them.

I never noticed this nice little touch when you’re dying (the zooming in, which makes for this interesting look.) But it is nice.

Okay, I’ve been bitching a lot, but this is, legitimately, well designed overall. The weapon types are, for the most part, pretty cool, and I’ve been most at home with the dual knives, which, yes, can only attack adjacent enemies… But the enemies it does attack, it fucks up, especially as you get more stun in on enemies trying to attack you. Oh, yes, the stun system is fun too. Even bosses can be stunned, with a single attack knocking 1 off the stun counter, more if they’re either attacking you, or trying to use a special ability. And naturally, once stunned, you can fuck them up at your leisure, until they’re not stunned, after which… Well, they can’t be stunned again for a certain amount of time, and you have to whittle down the counter as before, but… The damage has been done.

There’s a fair amount of depth here, the game’s pretty accessible, it’s got some great visuals and good soundwork going on… And yet, I find myself unable to determine if I’m actually having fun with it. It’s still a good game, though, so maybe you’ll have an easier time working out if you’re having fun or not.

The Mad Welshman doesn’t have a lot to say here. Because review wizard needs coffee… Badly!

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Ziggurat 2 (Early Access Review)

Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £14.99 (Soundtrack £4.79, bundle £17.80)
Where To Get It: Steam

Well, well, well… Ziggurat was one of those games that, if you were into arena fight roguelites (Walk into room, if room has enemies, kill them all before you leave, get stuff, rinse, repeat, boss, end level) was not bad at all. Some cool bosses, interesting weapons (some of which were, alas, crap), and carnivorous carrots aplenty. Good times.

There is little more horrifying than seeing this as you close your eyes for the last time.

So now, we have a sequel, and it’s changed the formula somewhat. Let’s start with the story. In the first game, you, a wizard from a pool of wizards (some of whom were unlockable), had to go up the Ziggurat, a prison to seal away horrific beasties, as your wizarding exam. Turns out wizards don’t fuck around when it comes to higher education.

Alas, wizards are also known, beyond deadly educational procedures, for warring over things and causing apocalypses or other terrible events. So, yay, wizard schism, the Ziggurat (reminder: Prison to seal away very bad monsters) got blown up in the war. Now you, some of the few surviving wizards, have to clean up the mess this wizarding war caused by, er… Doing what you did last time, but in discrete areas.

And this is honestly one of the more interesting changes: Rather than a strict level based structure, it’s a more quest based deal, in which solving mini dungeons gets you cool stuff and money. Which you’ll need to level up your wands, staffs, spellbooks, amulets, and alchemical/mechanical weaponry. And your wizards. And, of course, you do that by blowing the shit out of stuff with those weapons and wizards.

Oh, whaddya know, one of my screenshots with shooting in it has the little bastards in it too. God-damn carnivorous carrots, cackling and getting everywhere…

But it’s still got a ways to go right now, and it shows. As far as looks go, it’s very pretty, and you can tell the modellers on the team have been improving their craft. And the new levelling system (XP and coins are necessary) and map system are definitely an interesting change. But it does need fine tuning, as, right now, coin drops are annoyingly hard to get, and I have far more things in need of a level up than I have coins to level them up. Add in that length 1 can mean 1 floor (okay, cool) or two floors (Less cool, that’s a war of attrition it’s not so easy to get through when you’re low level), and… Yeah, it needs a little work.

Aesthetically, a definite improvement, and pretty accessible to boot. Difficulty levels appear alright, although it’s definitely recommended you try the easiest difficulty first (don’t worry, you have multiple save slots, you’re good), and I can’t really say that being easy to be backed into a corner because you don’t dare look behind you is a flaw, as it’s very much by design (and a dash-dodge means you can leap over, for example, those fucking carnivorous carrots that are the bane of my existence.)

Hrm, what with running into this guy in repeated runs, would you say… Repetition helps hammer home a point?

It’s relatively early days, though, and as far as these arena type roguesortamaybekindalikes goes, it’s not a bad one, even now.

The Mad Welshman repeats that wizards should never be allowed to be prison guards. This sort of thing ends up happening, you get monsters everywhere… It’s a nightmare.

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